Love Is Essential

“Love is a condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own.”
– Robert Henlein


WOW!! Where do I begin? No one sets out to get sucker-punched while loving another, because Love is in the mix–so you think. When I was very young and naive, a virgin, I really thought that the love of my life, my first love, was my everything; that he loved me so much that if I fell he would be there to catch me. He made me feel this way, and I was so very trusting and hopeful. Then at 23, life threw me a major blow. My heart was shattered into millions of pieces; I was devastated and numb. But my daughter, who was 4 at the time, did not ask for this to happen; so I had to pick up my millions of pieces and work through the pain. No, it was not easy, but the love and support from my uncle’s wife, family members and friends helped me to weather the storm. LOVE was still ever so present!

Yes, life will definitely throw you many curve balls, but the key to catching the ball in the future is learning from Life’s Lessons (a.k.a., those nasty curve balls). If you choose to ignore the choices you have made that caused you pain, who can you blame? The air around you, the culprit, or yourself? It was a freeing moment when I realized that people will only do what you allow; and once you recognize the role you play in your own circumstances, that new awareness puts you on the road to healing SELF. It’s called accountability, taking ownership and responsibility for your actions, and not blaming others.


Yes, heartache, disappointment, betrayal–you name it–it’s a hard trip [my choice of word: it’s a B*tch, but I’m trying to calm down my expletives. ;o)]. But because living on Heartache Road is a hard trip, we need to learn to listen to and with our Hearts, that will never fail you if you pay attention to what it’s saying. Life’s valuable lessons will teach you that your “suffering . . . will produce perseverance, and perseverance will improve your character, and your character will definitely give you hope” (Romans 5:3-4); so all is not lost, even when it feels like it is.

Life should be much simpler, and actually it is–when you think about it. “Life is simple; it’s people who complicate it.” It’s people who make life difficult and challenging; and, of course, the choices that we make (or don’t make) also play a role in the potential dilemma. So, it is important to choose wisely, thoughtfully on all aspects of your life: mate, job, career, friends, associations, etc.

“You show me your friends, and I’ll tell you who you are.” – My maternal grandmother


Today, I will help you smile. I promise!!!


How could you not smile after looking at this beautiful picture?

Stay steadfast. Breathe, and know that your life matters. Remember that you are GREAT; you are a doer, a liker, and people do rely on you (family, kids, spouse, friends, co-workers, etc.) for support because you are a responsible person. Just try to appreciate the person that YOU are, genuinely love SELF, care for SELF so that from deep down inside, you can smile through the storm. So you can tell your inner being that there is hope: “she/he just smiled on the inside.” Keep Randy Pausch’s words in mind whenever you doubt where the power lies: “we cannot change the cards we are dealt, just how we play the hand.”

Remember, this too shall pass!


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