“LOVE does not hurt or cause you pain… only people do.”
When does the pain of heartache stop or end? It appears to be a continual cycle of bad, reckless behavior stemming from men and women who generally don’t give a damn about other people’s hearts or emotions; but only focus on their own selfish behavior.
But, Karma sees all, and it will turn around on them. It may not be today, when you are hurting; it may not be tomorrow; but, one who sends out negativity only gets it back in return. So, please, don’t waste your precious time plotting or trying to get revenge on the one who caused your heart pain. Au contraire… it truly is wasted energy when you are consumed or driven by hate or “getting revenge” (definitely not good). It makes you a prisoner of your emotions, because then you are harping on revenge and can’t let go. God is watching, vengeance will be His… and everyone will have their day.
Divorce or any kind of split or breakup from any relationship can be devastating on each person, but always seems to have a larger impact on the person who fought hard to work at the relationship. We may see the signs, but we continue to forge ahead, down this invisible road of pure destruction, because we are hopeful in Love and want to love (and be loved) unconditionally. When the unexpected, yet infamous day comes, unbeknownst to you, you may hear: “I don’t want to be with you anymore”; “I’m leaving you”; “I’ve been miserable for a long time and can’t take it any more”; “I’m not happy”; or “I found someone else.” Your heart shatters, and all you can think is: “Wow, really?!”
The shock of rejection hits home hard, especially when you gave it your all.
But remember, through the puffy eyes from the endless tears and a heart that is throbbing with pain, to count your blessings. It’s probably inconceivable right now to comprehend any “blessings” because the pain is great, real and present as a result of what just occurred; your relationship is over. You lost the love of your life, so you thought, and now it’s over. In time, you will be able to see this as a blessing and count this “loss” among them, but right now you are dealing with the moment. As you are so right to do…
Love and time will definitely heal all wounds.
When (or how) do we break the cycle of heartache, or the misuse of someone else’s heart, when it comes at the expense of someone else? There will be some who actually don’t have any remorse for their behavior or actions because this is their normal behavior. Breaking hearts, and then it’s “on to the next.” A guy once asked me, “Why are women so angry?” I chuckled and did not respond. So, when his wife of 34 years finally got what she so deserved from their divorce, I texted him: “Now, do you have your answer?” People do not get their emotions from the sky, as loving is a cause-and-effect reaction. Married, single, or whatever you are doing in a relationship… it’s always a give-and-take situation.
So, if you are treating someone wonderfully and happy times are present–you both work through disagreements with no judging and you feel good about your present situation–then, how and why does it go astray?
Another guy once said to me, “Keep it mental, never move it to the heart.” Okay, we were casual at the time, but I did warn him that he would fall for me–which he did. Now, what? You can’t control or manipulate LOVE. Love is free, painless, a giver and doer, and smiles upon your heart–not destroys it. That’s the job of people who truly don’t understand the meaning behind love. This is why I don’t play with Love.
Love is absolute… it is or it ain’t.
Many of us have had their heart broken, mended, repaired, and jumped back into the arena of wanting a Loving relationship. It is important that we remain hopeful in love and for successful relationships because we enjoy nurturing and giving of ourselves. But this selflessness definitely comes at a price, usually, our hearts.
In my world, Peace is Priceless! And coming into my life with a blank check won’t get me to compromise my Peace. Heck no!! I think that it is important to cut your losses sooner rather than later. But, we need to be willing to face those signs that we see, and muster up the courage to call a leopard a leopard when we see it. As we all know, a leopard cannot change its spots. Also, reading up on your horoscopes may help. I know I am a die-hard, passionate, loving, holding-you-accountable Scorpio. This means I know that I don’t do well with Geminis (who seem to accept no accountability or have any remorse (sometimes coming off as heartless)), Leos (who seem to require you to chase them and revere them, NOT!!), or another Scorpio (who conflict with my own Scorpion-ness by being too controlling and domineering, which definitely does not sit well with me). I’m also a bird that can’t be put into a cage.
Life is about free will and making choices that are best for you; choosing wisely and not settling because you want someone in your life to love. Remembering that sometimes the end result can be grave and devastating can make matters of the heart suck less. Know your options and weigh them thoughtfully in today’s dating climate… Okay, I’ll plead the 5th, but every one of us needs to learn our worth and not accept anything or anyone who makes us choose something less than that. If you have standards, make sure they are met, but balance it with a willingness to compromise.
A person who uplifts you and brings forth your best will compliment your achievements and help you to grow. This loving exchange will be reciprocal, and it should never be one-sided.
True love can withstand and weather any storm… even if it’s long distance. Congrats to all the people in marriages and relationships who have come through the storms and are still sharing love with one another. Marriage is a beautiful thing, and never easy, so don’t get caught up in the image of a perfect marriage; make your marriage or relationship perfect for you. And the love you share will keep you covered in the cocoon you’ve created to sustain an effective and successful relationship.
So, to all the grieving hearts today, tomorrow, and into the future, this too shall pass and you will be okay. The healing, acknowledging the disappointment and wasted time, process starts today. Remember that you are truly loved by family and friends and you will get through your heartache.
There is someone out there with the ability to love you just the way you are, just because. True Love never comes with conditions, heartache, or pain.